A post dedicated to fathers

June is a month that we celebrate men's mental health as well as father's day.

Since it is the father's day weekend, I would like to wish all you amazing men out there a Happy Father's Day! This post is dedicated to the fathers, fathers-to-be and those performing fathering duties.

This hand drawn and painted picture depicts Bowser and his son, Bowser Junior having fun. They shared a strong bond. Do read this blog entry to find out more about the father-son dynamics at play in the Mario Galaxy movie and my take on this topic too.

Many men carry an array of different responsibilities and expectations that no one can see, and yet, they trudge on, in spite of the weight, wounds and pains incurred on the journey. Growing up, they could have been advised against many things, including how NOT to ask for assistance and/or to NEVER express your feelings or vulnerabilities lest it paints them in undesirable light.

Thus, they consciously hold them all in; the pressures, responsibilities, and weight of their family/society's expectations/views and silently ventured on with tasks, a step at a time. Eventually, there comes a day when they crack under the pressure and let out a sigh and wonder if there is any more hope or light in this world. This is when they are compelled to pause and reflect if they require support. However, due to how they had been socialised, they may learn that seeking help meant weakness and refrain from doing so. As such, they end up feeling extremely alone in their suffering and wonder if there is ever a way out of this somewhat vicious cycle.

Such narrative is extremely common, given how gender and societal roles and expectations had been passed on through the generations to men and women of all ages.

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Relatedly, I would like to draw your attention to a segment in The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026), an animated adventure-comedy sequel to The Super Mario Bros movie (2023). I would like to discuss the father-son relationship and dynamics between Bowser and his son, Bowser Junior.

In the movie, Bowser told bed time stories that framed himself as glorious warrior king/hero and Mario as villain and it was through these stories that influenced his son's worldview. Driven by his immense desire to obtain his father's validation and approval, the conquest mindset guides Bowser Junior to build massive galaxy reactor to rule the universe.

It was during the movie's climatic ending when pressures ran high that Junior's tough exterior cracked and he broke down revealing that he only wanted to be ruler to make Bowser proud and to gain his love. This expression of vulnerability was precious and it in turn helped Bowser appreciate the gravity of his expectations and goals may have on his child. And at a later scene, Bowser took accountability for his action and apologised to Junior for making him feel that his self worth was associated to his conquest ability. He went on to add that he loves him unconditionally.

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As seen, Bowser passed on the values, life perspectives and aspirations based on his own upbringing and history. And this in turn gets internalised by Junior who leads his life according to these, and if Junior had offspring, those shall be the values passed on too.

This speaks to how across generations, gender- and societal- role expectations, values, ideologies and aspirations get passed on from forefathers to us and subsequently from us to our offsprings, and so on. We often pass down what we know best or so we think, until we had the chance to reflect on their implications.

It is important to note that just like Bowser, you are a change-agent. You get to determine what you wish to pass on. Through his behaviours in the end, he somehow managed to change the trajectory for Junior and hopefully, their future generation to come. And you get to do that too; to make the difference that will make the difference in longer term.

If you resonate with any of the messages above, please do acknowledge that playing the fathering role, it can feel heavy as there is visible as well as invisible pressures on you to do what’s right in eyes of society and family of origin. It can feel like you are torn in different directions and incredibly lonely for no one really understands or comes to your aid. Despite this, you soldier on with your responsibility one day at a time - it can feel increasingly effortful to deliver on all aspects of life (work, family, etc) under such trying conditions.

Do know that I see and feel for you.

And you do not have to go through this alone. Know that there is support available should you wish to break the generational cycle and/or simply would like to receive support for a concern.

Rooting for you as always,

Jeanice