Holiday Blues
- ahaeurekamoment
- Dec 9, 2024
- 6 min read
Updated: Nov 17
As I stepped into retail malls in the past few weeks, I observed how several things seem relatively consistent. Most malls are decked meticulously with Christmas decorations despite the varying themes/mascots for each one. There are brightly lit colourful Christmas lights and trees, both on display as well as on sale. And as I combed through the malls to run my errands, I cannot help but observe a curated playlist of classic Christmas songs on repeat/loop – I guess they were intended to bring holiday and festive moods to patrons. However, if one were to stay in the mall beyond an hour, it can get quite intense and overwhelming to say the least.
Well, yes, it is definitely beginning to not only look like, but feel like Christmas indeed…
That said, I was also reminded that the new year as well as lunar new year are around the corner too; in fact both are happening just in the next month. With all these various festive dates earmarked consecutively on the calendar, it is no wonder the year-end period can inevitably trigger a complex bag of feelings among individuals. Below are some possible reasons why the holiday seasons, though seemingly joyful and unassuming, can bring so much distress and overwhelm for many individuals.
Season of stress
According to the American Psychological Association, two in five adults experience an increase in stress levels between the months of November and January. Specifically, nearly nine out of 10 American adults report that concerns such as not having enough money, missing loved ones and anticipating family conflict cause them stress during this period.
When expectations do not meet reality
Stress can derive from the societal expectations and/or “shoulds” and ”must” narratives that one may have towards holiday seasons. For instance, one may have expectation of how holiday should look like; how one should feel or how one should be doing to celebrate. More often than not, these expectations can inevitably set us up for potential disappointment and frustration should things not look as expected or differ from our expectations.
This is a season when individuals may receive multiple invitations to attend social events for which they feel obligated to make it and prepare gifts for. This unfortunately can trigger the fear of missing out among individuals – which may lead to sense of overwhelm should they decide to attend most or all of the gatherings.
In the similar vein, there may be individuals who expect to be invited to social events but do not, in reality, receive any. These can lead to them feeling left out, socially rejected and demoralised.
Expectations that one may have regarding festivities can also give rise to relational conflicts. For instance, there can be expectation of equal involvement among couples or family members during festivities. However, when reality is such that an individual is the only one doing preparation such as choosing and buying gifts, or scheduling social gatherings, it can most certainly result in frustration and resentment across time.
Concerns related to sensory sensitivities.
As mentioned, bright lights in full display and christmas songs on repeat in the malls can be overwhelming to anyone, especially when one is exposed to them for extended duration of time. One can only imagine how it would be much worse for individuals who struggle with sensory sensitivities. These individuals may experience the sensory inputs more intensely or differently than others, which can result in discomfort, anxiety or even physical reactions towards such overwhelming environmental stimuli.
Those who experience grief and loss
Death, estrangement and other types of losses can inevitably alter the composition of and dynamics within families during the holiday period. Previously heartwarming activities and traditions in family may now spark painful feelings and memories. Hence, festivities, that are characterised by spending time with family and friends, feasting and merry-making, can potentially be triggering for these individuals experiencing grief and loss. For instance, there can be a sense of yearning for those who are no longer with them or missing the presence of the loved ones which may either cause them to isolate or avoid social gatherings/ celebrations or to attend them out of obligation despite not enjoying them.
Unmet new year resolution(s)– uh oh!
Given the temporal proximity to the brand new year, this last month of the year can be a time of stock-taking and evaluation where new year’s resolution(s) are concerned. Hence, it can seem particularly daunting especially when a large extent of the new year’s resolution are not yet met, which inevitably elicits distressing feelings (disappointment, fear etc).
How to combat the Holiday Blues?
The following paragraphs detail how one can address the holiday blues.
- Setting realistic expectations
We can start by reframing our beliefs about how holidays “should” be like.
For instance, we can set our spending budget and/or choose to focus on gifting loved ones with experiences (e.g., a day out in beach; a trip to themepark) or making them handmade gifts, rather than gifting them with commercial gifts.
We can also decide beforehand how many festive gatherings to go for in a week, in consideration of our schedules and commitments, and prioritising which events to attend over others. In this case, there will be a need to decline some invitations – but we can reframe this in context of self-care.
In reference to any unmet new year’s resolutions, one can also consider acknowledging and validating the small steps/gains completed and think of them as necessary steps towards longer term goals. Moving forward, we can review the remaining steps and recalibrate realistic and manageable steps towards this eventual goal in the coming year.
-Keeping our own well-being in mind while celebrating
It can be tempting to indulge excessively when one is immersed in the festivities and joyful celebratory moods. However, just a reminder to take care of ourselves in midst of festivities – where diet, fitness and sleep hygiene are concerned. Let’s keep our feasting and alcohol consumption in moderation – better yet, we may find healthier alternatives of beverage and food type for those who prefer such or we may consider reducing the portion sizes and still enjoy the food variety. After all, we do not want to restrict our diet excessively such that we end up with unhealthy eating patterns. Similarly, exercising and having adequate sleep can be helpful factors to take note of as both are related to the alleviation of symptoms of stress and anxiety.
-Knowing that we have a choice
This may not come intuitively for some who feels obliged to attend social events due to various reasons. However, it is important to remind ourselves that we get to choose and prioritise how we use our limited resources (time, energy) this festive period. And in the same vein, if one does not feel up to partying and/or feasting, one can have the right to not attend a given event or even to reduce the time spent at a gathering. Ultimately, you are the one who attends and experiences the given event and your sense of fulfilment and enjoyment can be determinants for the duration by which you decide to stay at a party, for instance.
-Planning ahead of time
The earlier we start on our Christmas preparations for e.g., gift shopping, reservations for dining venues, decorating trees/homes, the less stressful it will be due to having more preparation time. In addition, planning can also involve allocation of responsibilities to others in order to share the load. This delegation can help alleviate the stress from having to do everything by oneself. A point to note however is to manage our expectation especially in the context of delegation.
-Honouring our deceased loved ones
One way of honouring them can be to continue a tradition or activity for which they enjoyed previously during the festivities. For instance if a loved one likes to cook a certain dish, one can try to replicate this dish as a way of commemorating or honouring them.
However, if one does not feel up to celebrations, please remember that you have a choice to not attend/celebrate. After all, grief has no time-line and requires no explanation. Just a gentle reminder for those grieving during this period: those who care would understand and those who fail to understand possibly do not care anyway.
Be mindful that it can be a challenging period of the year so I will be as usual rooting for you. Please take a moment to consider which one(s) of the above you may want to consider this season!
Love,
Jeanice
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