I do, I do

Marital and relational conflicts and concerns had been extensively discussed in Singapore recently. However, I would like to add a more favourable spin to this discussion.

Just like how when sparks (read: things that fuel or which one feels passionate about) are gone from one's life, one may lose meaning in life; a marriage can similarly lose its essence when there are no more or little sparks remaining.

This picture suggests connection being the key to improving couple relationships.

Here are 8 ways to create SPARKS (of passion) in long term partnership or marriage:

i) Use collaborative sounding languages that begin with “we” for instance, “shall we take turns with the dish washing?"

ii) Avoid “you” statements as they can trigger defences from the other party such as, “you always leave the dishes in sink!”

iii) Do schedule regular dates to hang out as a couple and ensure both make it a point to attend them (p/s: Frequency depends on both your schedules of course!)

iv) Allow the other party to have time and space for own hobbies or hang out with your own friends!

v) Make it a point to remember the strengths of the other person (For e.g., ask yourself: what made me fall in love with him/her in the first place?)

vi) Have regular heart-to-heart dialogue with your partner about your relationship. During which, both can clarify about your wants and needs and the extent you both feel fulfilled in this union. Individual, couple and family goals can be discussed as well.

Well, this point suggests that communication is so pivotal in ensuring couple remains in-sync and yet, maintain their individuality and personal aspirations.

vii) Develop common goals that both parties are working towards together for e.g., buying a new house, renovation project, and relocation /migration.

viii) Create opportunities to hug and cuddle your partner -- both of which facilitates the production of oxytocin. Oxytocin, known as love hormone, can have calming and stress-relief effect as well as present many social functions -- such as for building attachment, trust and pair-bonding. Since one can develop CONNECTION and BOND through hugs, what are we waiting for? let's hug away!

Always rooting for you guys,

Jeanice