Lending a helping hand
- ahaeurekamoment
- Nov 13, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Nov 17
Earlier this week, I stumbled upon a meaningful initiative in an unassuming void deck located in one of the mature estates. It is none other than a cafe which provides socially isolated seniors with the experience of cooking, dining and socialising with other seniors. This place is essentially run by seniors, for seniors. From the baristas to the servers, they are made up of seniors who are volunteers and I heard some were previous beneficiaries who are giving back in the form of their time and skills. The cafe reportedly relies on payment by members of public who patronises the cafe — with the money collected, they provide complimentary food and drinks (lovingly cooked and made by volunteer seniors) for the seniors who live by themselves. This endeavour somehow ignited a spark within me and I wanted to write more about this topic of helping or volunteering.
The above initiative can be an example of altruism. Altruism refers to any act that is aimed at benefiting the recipient, without any benefits expected in return. And I will mostly be referring, in this post, to volunteer or charitable work, rather than the helping profession/job - though the latter can be related in some ways to altruism.
So, why do people help?
Let’s explore where this action tendency to help come from …
Below are several psychological perspectives.
EMPATHY
Empathy occurs when one puts oneself in another’s shoes and feels what the other person feels.
Most people are capable of empathy, hence, when we come across another person in need of help and/or in distress, we can somewhat feel what the other feels (and know what the other may need). Then, there is a motive to reduce the other’s distress which in turn translates to behaviour/act to achieve that (e.g., to lend a helping hand).
At the same time, there may be a parallel process of distress being elicited within ourselves as we witness another person suffering. In such case, we may offer help in order to alleviate our own distress. This shows how helping can potentially be self-serving for the helpers, which leads to the following point.
WE GAIN AS/WHEN WE HELP
Altruism can be considered self-gratifying for the helpers, in that it carries its own set of “rewards” or gains.
For one, altruistic acts can increase one’s sense of self-worth and purpose. Seeing how one’s act can favourably impact and make a positive difference in others’ lives can most certainly enhance one’s self perception and sense of self.
Engaging in altruistic act like volunteering can also help one form affiliation with those who are like-minded and aligned in values.And according to the Social Support Buffering Hypothesis (Cohen and Wills, 1985), social support is found to be able to help individuals cope with stressful situations and buffer against the negative impacts of stress on physical and mental health. Volunteers can thus potentially form meaningful social support that can protect them from adversaries.
The positive energy that one feels from helping or doing a favourable deed can act on one’s body in a similar way as how exercise does; releasing endorphins that make one feel good. So, the experience of “feel good” hormones after helpers performed an altruistic act can be a pleasant "reward" on its own. Additionally, one can also feel a greater sense of gratitude for what one possesses in his/her life, after witnessing that beneficiaries, whom they are helping, are going through a challenging time of their lives.
RECIPROCITY
According to Sociologist Alvin Gouldner in 1960, the moral code to the reciprocity norm (related to altruism) is as follows: “To those who help us, we should return help, not harm”. This is evident from the cafe experience whereby some seniors who had previously benefited from the initiative subsequently decided to volunteer their time and skills to help others.
HELPFUL MODELS PROMOTE HELPING
Social learning theory, as introduced by psychologist Albert Bandura, suggests that learning occurs through observation, imitation, as well as modeling. Consistently, several studies have also found evidence for how prosocial models do promote altruism. For instance: a study, done in UK in the 1970s, found that people are more willing to donate blood if they were approached after observing another person consenting to blood donation. Another study, examinining a Christmas crowd in New Jersey, showed shoppers were more likely to donate money to Salvation Army if they had just witnessed someone doing the same.
When helping does more harm than good…
While helping others can be beneficial to both helpers and beneficiaries alike, it can be potentially stressful business too. Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged/ persistent and repetitive stress. Burnout is primarily characterised by the following (WHO, 2019)
feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;
increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and
reduced professional efficacy.
Burnout can happen to any one doing work - be it paid or unpaid (as in, helping or volunteering). Given that burnout is common among those in helping professions and roles, it can happen among the volunteers who similarly provide care and help to others on an ongoing basis.
All in all, any act of altruism can present helpers with perks, provides them with meaning and purpose in life and improves one’s overall well-being and self concept. As a result, volunteers or helpers may become so involved and consumed by the helping endeavour that they may end up neglecting their own needs and health. This can truly take a detrimental toll on their overall well-being.
Let’s be mindful about the symptoms of burnout stated above and if you are already experiencing some signs of burnout, do firstly try to speak to your close support system about it, in order to clarify the current situation as well as discuss ways to potentially improve it. If possible, you may consider taking a short break from the commitment as a breather sometimes can help one recalibrate and energise for the journey ahead.
Hope to hear from you about your own or others' experiences and/or observations of being engaged in the helping roles - looking forward to hearing all about your challanges, concerns or success stories!
With love,
Jeanice
References
Cohen, S., & Wills, T. A. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis. Psychological bulletin, 98(2), 310.
Curry, O. S., Rowland, L. A., Van Lissa, C. J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J. & Whitehouse, H. (2018). Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 76: 320-329.
Myers, D. G. (2002). Social Psychology, 7th edition. McGraw-Hill.
WHO, 2019:
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