How are you doing, really? (Mid year check up Edition)

#healthscreening #mentalhealth #psychology #emotions #wellbeing

It’s July. As we cross the mid year point, it’s crucial that we do a timely check-in on this aspect. Let’s reflect on how the first half of the year has treated us as well as how we would like to live the second half of 2024!

Physical health screening assesses the physical health. But how about our mental health? Look no further - this blog entry explores exactly that and more. To keep things succinct, we will be using the 3 "C"s - CHANGE, COPING, and COMPANY to find out how we are doing in terms of mental and emotional health.

This picture shows the scene of sunset in a beach. sunset and the sea tides are often characterised by changes which can affect one's mental health.

EMBRACING CHANGES

Given that I am in this business of personal development and growth, how can we leave out the concept of CHANGE?

During my course of work, I have seen individuals who had to adjust to changes across their life stages - for instance, students starting or resuming school, graduates embarking on internships or formal employments for the first time; individuals dealt with losses that turned their lives topsy turvy. These are all life changing events for which they require support with - e.g., in terms of navigating interpersonal dynamics at work; prioritising workload; developing work-life balance, dealing with grief, just to name some. I am so honoured to be doing what I do to use my knowledge base and skills to support my clients who allowed me into their worlds. 

In addition to recognising the change (s) that we are experiencing, it may also be a good idea to take a pause and notice what we are feeling. Feelings are important clues to our needs and struggles.

**For my previous post on importance of working through our feelings and potentially experiencing growth through processing them – please check out https://www.ahaeurekamoment.com/post/let-s-tune-in-to-our-emotions

Above all, do validate ourselves (even if those around us may not have capacity to do so), look towards our social support (who does have the capacity), make space for our feelings (all of them! both messy and beautiful!) and practise self compassion for these are necessary during such a critical time of change.

COPING: HOW FULL IS YOUR CUP?

All of us have responsibilities and duties in our lives. In various roles - as parents, children, students, employees, employers, friends, relative, or neighbour. Regardless of which role, despite our best effort, we cannot pour from an empty cup. So naturally the question to ask:

How full is your cup ?  Half, or almost empty? If you are answering full or somewhat full, that’s awesome - it suggests that you have been filling yourself up consistently…

So, next question- how have you been filling up your cup? For some, it will be me-time at the beach, gym or reading a book anywhere. For others, it will be a nice meal, karaoke session, pottery making or volunteering work. The guide is as long as your cup gets filled (i.e., you feel more energised than before you did the activity)- it is certainly helpful and worth keeping.

Different strokes for different folks, indeed. Should you require help to find out what suits you and/or what else one can adopt as a distress-coping strategy, you may consider psychotherapy or counselling sessions.

COMPANY

(who are your support tribe? How much have you engaged with them in past months?)

Your support tribes are people (usually, family and friends) who have been with you since the beginning and stayed on throughout and in spite of your ups and downs. These are important and consistent sources of support that not only show up for you but helpful to your well-being. Hence, it is crucial to stay close and continue to engage with them.

However, if you observe that there is tendency to distance from this support tribe, it is important to ask yourself why that is the case and what you wish to do about it. How can we resume contact?  What do we need to be able to resume contact? You may then consider ways to reach out and resume connection by thinking of what both of you enjoyed together.  

I am a believer of the importance of play in our life and have been trying to instil play in all aspects of my life - as a therapist, parent, child and friend. Hence, I was intrigued when I came across an initiative by ActiveSG and the related tagline -“Together We play. Let’s get active with family and friends. Because it matters”. Guess what, now you can integrate play in connecting with your supportive tribe - isn't that amazing?

Play can most certainly take on various forms — including sports and physical activities. The sport-related activities not only allow individuals to connect with loved ones in a fun manner, but also help meet one’s health and fitness goals at the same time. If you are keen to find out more on play and importance on our overall well-being and/or about fun or playful activities that you can consider to reconnect with your support tribe, do check out my other blog entry on play!

(**Here you go: https://www.ahaeurekamoment.com/post/seize-your-play-moment-today)

So what’s next?

For individuals who, after the above check-in, realise that they have been coping adequately with their current life and maintain a close-knitted and supportive tribe(s), I am glad for you and do continue what has been working so far.

However, for those others who felt there is some space for change/progress, this may be for you. Upon reflecting based on the above 3 "C"s, you may observe that you no longer feel interested or motivated to do things that you used to enjoy, and/or observe tendency to isolate from your tribe; experience a drop in performance at work and/or studies, or feel unsatisfied with how your past months have been. In this case, take a pause and do some deep breathing. Try not to beat yourself up for the above as it is not likely to make things better. Instead, being self critical can potentially worsen your mood and situation. Recognise that awareness is always a good first step. Now that at least you are aware of your current state, you get to choose your next step and respond accordingly. Let’s treat ourselves with compassion. You may need to keep closer watch on yourself, talk to a trusted friend or family about this or if need be, you can also choose to seek help from mental health professionals for an assessment of the situation and find out ways to regain control of your life and mood again.   

As we begin to journey on to next half of 2024, we may want to incorporate other focus (if we feel we have the capacity to do so). If you prefer to stay put where you are, that's fine too. You do you, whatever is within reach or which makes sense to you. I have provided possible themes for consideration for those who want more ideas for rest of 2024!

Connection - with others and/or with oneself. Take for example, connection to self can be achieved through meditation, journaling and self development works (one of which can be psychotherapy). Through engaging in the above, our values, belief systems, life goals and gaps/needs can get reviewed and re-evaluated in the process. As a result, we may attain a clearer sense of self and what else needs work.

Challenge - what would you like to challenge next? For example, is there a new skill/hobby or sport that you have been yearning to master?

The learning zone model (graphical illustration as attached), originally developed by psychologist Lev Vygotsky, shows how in order to learn something successfully, we need to be adequately challenged. This can mean NOT staying in the comfort zone and instead, venturing out of comfort zone to “unchartered regions” – which inevitably trigger some discomfort. However, if we pushed ourselves way beyond this zone, we start experiencing more distress and if this gets excessive, we may end up in the panic zone. This is the zone where unfortunately given the high level of stress, learning is greatly hampered and morale adversely affected.

So, in both cases of comfort and panic zones, learning is restricted. It truly is about aiming for the “sweet spot” of the learning (or growth) zone. So let’s be mindful as to the extent we feel that the new skill/activity is challenging our capability.

Fig. Learning zone model

Center - how do we keep ourselves centered—i.e., within the middle ground - in terms of work life balance and mood state. In a way, the goal may be to achieve equilibrium, stability and calmness.  As the saying goes, moderation is the key. Consistently, as exemplified in inside out2 movie, moderate level of anxiety is related to optimal performance whereas as anxiety gets excessive and panic takes over, functioning is affected and relationships start getting impaired.

There are several activities that can support emotional regulation or centering oneself - for instance, one can facilitate that through deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness practices. In inside out 2, recognition and eventual acceptance of all parts of self (both messy and beautiful parts), memories and emotions also helped in bringing Riley (the story's protagonist) to a state of greater equilibrium and stability. 

**For those who are keen to read more about my reflections about Inside Out 2 movie, please check out: https://www.ahaeurekamoment.com/post/my-reflections-about-inside-out-2-movie

SO...

How is your mental health so far and how has 2024 treated you all?

Feel free to share any feedback and/or insights. Your inputs may well benefit another person in this community. Can’t wait to engage with you.

Rooting for you always,

Jeanice