Unmasking mental health concerns

Several deaths by suicides have been reported in the news in the past few months. The actual numbers of such deaths, not reported in the media, may have been higher.

Attempted suicide and suicidal ideations can be seen as symptoms of a deeper mental health concern. Attempted suicide can bring about irreversible effects on one's life (e.g., permanent physical disability), or in completed suicides, it may result in tragedies such as death.

These letter pieces that made up words "LIFE" and "LIVE" relates to the topic being discussed in this blog i.e., about suicide awareness and prevention.

In order to address it, awareness is usually the key.

We can explore possible reasons why people may resort to suicide... (p/s: the following list may not be exhaustive).

Ending one’s pain may be an overgeneralised reason for why one ends his/her life by suicide. Specifically, the exhaustion of reliving one's past trauma may have led them to consider this route?

Or it could be the sense of hopelessness in which they cannot envision the future they wish to live in?

Or it may be their concept of self as a burden to others/world?

Or how their mistakes are detrimental and that they are unable to overlook or forgive themselves for past "mistakes"?

Or that they had experienced a loss in life which led them to feel very much alone and unsupported in this grief…?

Or it could be that they do not feel meaning to live on anymore…?

Or they feel they cannot get out of the unfavourable situations they are currently in…?

All the above, though not exhaustive, are valid experiences. If only we are aware that the affected individuals struggle with them. That way, one can intervene in a timely fashion (for e.g., by directing them to get help from mental health professionals).

It is important to note that mental health concerns such as, depression, anxiety disorders, and post traumatic stress disorders, do not have a particular look or appearance. People who suffer from the above do not necessarily look a certain way as they may have learnt to put on a mask in order to be socially appropriate. They may also have developed coping methods e.g., humour and use them in their social interactions with others — effectively “tricking” them into thinking that they are OKAY, when in actual fact, they are NOT OKAY. This is why their loved ones may potentially not notice and hence, miss out on any opportunity to intervene.

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that” - Robin Williams

As caregivers, we want to observe for warning signs that may suggest someone is at risk of suicide.

-talking about carrying guilt or shame or being a burden to others

-saying directly that they want to die

-sharing how they feel empty, hopeless and having no meaning in life

-showing a change in behaviours e.g., giving away treasured possessions or suddenly making a will

Should you observe any of the above in your loved ones, do pay closer attention to them, let them know you care by means of regular check-ins (text or call) while encouraging them to seek help or support from mental health professionals where appropriate. You may enquire what they may need help on (e.g., emotional support, practical support) and try to meet them or outsource appropriately. Importantly, you can help them gain access to support (e.g., remind them to call caregivers or crisis helplines in times of need).

In general, the experience of losing a loved one is often a very painful experience. And the fact that one outlives the other may trigger many overwhelming emotions. One of them can be survivor's guilt which is commonly associated with individuals who have survived traumatic events or lost people who are close to them. Specific to losing loved ones to suicide, there are more questions than there are answers and caregivers can experience a lack of closure and intense distress which may in turn affect life's functioning. So, if you are a caregiver who is affected by loss of loved ones who died by suicide, hope you feel seen and do know that you deserve support as well.

Lastly, I would like to urge us all not make a permanent decision in a temporary storm. This saying is intended to instil hope that this (referring to the distress you are experiencing at this point) shall pass and that there may be change (in favourable direction) if we sat with the storm.

Sending strengths to all of you,

Jeanice